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The film pretty much follows by textbook to 300’s storyline. A Spartan elder inspects newborns until he comes across the magnificent specimen of a child that is Leonidas (Sean Maguire). He is accepted as a Spartan and spends his childhood in the wilderness training to someday become a king. Rather than fighting a ferocious wolf it's replaced with a ghetto penguin which I suppose is to be a spoof on Happy Feet, when he matures into the role of king an inauguration ceremony occurs and Leonidas sees Margo (Carmen Electra) dancing and pops the question to her and of course she says yes in an obvious hinting way, then fast forward to where the story really begins, with Leonidas training his son, until Captain (Kevin Sorbo) tells him that a Persian messenger has a delivery for him. The messenger tells them Xerxes (Ken Davitian) demands for Sparta's submission. Leonidas annoyed by the messenger, decides to kick him, the messenger's bodyguards, and then proceeds to kick other random people ranging from Britney Spears (Nicole Parker) to American Idol judges into "The Pit of Death" which this scene almost feels like one third of the movie due to how long it drags on. Leonidas then visits the Oracle, seeking the answer to decide if he should go to war or not. The Oracle reveals that Leonidas will in fact die should he go to war. Deciding against this Leonidis goes to war and finds that only 13 (not 300) came to heed the call of war, three among them being Captain, his son Sonio (Travis Van Winkle), and a out of shape but well endowed Spartan named Dilio (Jareb Dauplaise). As he rounds up the men they march on to confront Xerxes. Will Leonidas beat the prediction of impending death and keep Sparta free from Xerxes? If you have seen 300 or read the comic you will know the answer and how it ends, the real question is how the duo of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer adapt the rest of the story into their own twisted vision and what key characters in 300 fall victim to their celebrity spoof switcheroos? This is probably going to be a pretty obscure reference but for any one who remembers Troma’s T.I.T. trivia test you’ll find something similar called “Know Your Spartans Pop Culture Trivia Game” in the special features section. This runs you through a gauntlet of questions based on current happenings in entertainment and scenes from the movie. Answer the question correctly and be awarded with a scene of sweet pit-of-death action. The cool thing about this is you get rewarded also with a few extra celeb deaths with the likes of Ellen DeGeneres, George W. Bush, and Dance Cook which were not in the film. “Super Pit-of-Death Ultimate Tactical Battle Challenge Game” and “Celebrity Kickoff Game” are two lesser glorified games that have strong emphasis on the pit-of-death. The special feature section also harbors the usual suspects like the gag reel (which you might get a weak chuckle if you are lucky), a tour of the set, a documentary or perhaps more of a mockumentary of how they trained, got in shape, and artificially got those six-pack abs for the film, and as mentioned earlier Meet The Spartans: The Music. In comparison to its regular DVD counterpart, nothing gets cut from this; in fact the Blu-Ray version boasts three more special features than the regular DVD. If you want a fine example of spoofing as of late, I would suggest checking out Weezer’s newest music video for “Pork and Beans” they masterfully create this 3 minute opus to the art of parody to the point of where who ever made this video should really just break out the baby powder and pimp slap the current people in charge of these rapidly declining spoof films like “Meet the Spartans” and shock a beating pulse of laughter back into these lackluster films which by some miracle still survive every year at the box office. -derek-
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