One Piece: The Desert Princess and the Pirates' Adventures in Alabasta 2007   FUNimation Entertainment Official Website Buy It Now Official Japanese Website

Back before my wife and I were married and she still lived in Japan, she used to send me “care packages” that, among other things, contained VHS tapes with episodes of the latest anime that was airing on Japanese television. Many of these I enjoyed quite a bit, especially since it was years in most case before they saw the light of day in North America, if at all (I’m still waiting on Hunter x Hunter) but there were ones that I had her stop taping because they weren’t something that I was interested in. Of these, I distinctly recall being turned off by One Piece, a series that I really hoped would never gain popularity in the United States, or elsewhere, but unfortunately my wish didn’t come true. One Piece has become the hottest thing since the Dragon Ball series, and after watching the eighth movie in this series, my dislike for One Piece hasn’t changed.

One Piece: The Desert Princess and the Pirates' Adventures in Alabasta is a cheapening of the series, not that it wasn’t like that already, and simply serves as a means to “retell” the Alabasta story arc by editing the episodes together and adding in a bit of new animation. In the end however, this all meant profit at the Japanese box office since at this point, the series still, for whatever reason, enjoys a great deal of popularity. Adventure, excitement and danger are once again about to find Monkey D. Luffy, the boy who hopes to one day become pirate king, and his friends after they save a strange, cross-dressing man from the ocean. The man, Bon Clay, has managed to gain the ability to transform himself to match the appearance of anyone he touches and after he leaves, Vivi quickly realizes that among the faces was that of her father meaning that he may have been on the one responsible for the events that have occurred in her homeland and so the Straw Hats are off to Alabasta.

It seems however that the band of merry pirates may be too late as war seems to be brewing on the horizon and they quickly rush to try and stop things before chaos and bloodshed sweep the city streets. The pirate Crocodile is behind the mayhem, a powerful and deadly combatant and Luffy will find that this is a foe that might be his undoing while Viv and the others try and restore order to the kingdom, uncover the truth, and send Crocodile and his minions packing, but even they may be in a situation that is beyond their skill.

Time hasn’t changed my opinion on One Piece in the least. I still find this to be the lowest name on the food chain when it comes to anime. There’s nothing about the series or the movie that I find striking or moving in the least, and the reediting of the series in an attempt to create a movie is done so rather haphazardly, much like with other series that have underdone the same transition; the first Space Battleship Yamato movie comes to mind. The attempts to throw in comedy almost too often are a wasted effort and generally come at the expense of Nami and her chest. The Japanese apparently don’t believe in the comedy rule of three’s either and each and every opportune moment, there is a gag used to illustrate how busty she is and how everyone around her, Sanji in particular (who really is nothing more than a cheap Sanzo imitator) are totally lost in though or action because of a bit of flesh.

Luffy meanwhile is nothing more than a Goku knockoff, and you can pick your series in this case; Dragon Ball of Saiyuki as Luffy seems to draw from both characters quite a bit. He’s hungry all the time, has that never-give-up attitude, and while this should be something that pains a memorable character, it doesn’t. Luffy is an annoyance in my opinion, and his power to stretch his limbs and use the elasticity of his body is far too similar to the powers of American heroes like Mister Fantastic or Plastic Man trapped in a third rate Pirate of the Caribbean world, minus any characters that are interesting. Even Crocodile, our nefarious villain, is just a cookie cutter foe who does nothing but dissipate in a swirling storm of sand when things get hectic, all the while spouting off some disingenuous diatribe about how all will fall before him, “I’m so evil and spooky” and on and on. If he wasn’t bad enough, his henchmen whom we see with the powers to change this hair into a spiked creation like a sea urchin or a baseball shooting dog and absolutely ridiculous

On top of everything else, it’s the animation and character designs that really turn me off. Part of what I don’t like about the series is that it’s very obvious to tell that this was made for children in Japan, much like Pokemon or Yu-gi-oh, and yet American anime fans have taken to the series for some odd reason. It would be like seeing Japanese fans of American shows suddenly think that something like Sesame Street is cool and hip. One Piece features crudely drawn animation, not at all like the cutting edge titles that are shown later in the evening on Japanese television. Out of all the characters however, Usopp (the one with the long nose and poorly drawn lips) is the character that really turns me away from the series. The film integrates a number of CG shots as well, but it does nothing to make the movie (or the series) any better an instead is just another in the long list of annoyances that One Piece manages to bring with it each and every moment.

There are no bonus features to speak of on the DVD, but I really can’t imagine what would have been added, though I suppose a character guide for anyone new to the series might have been a nice touch, but while some have commented that the film is really for the fan, I think that enough of the series is detailed, the important parts at least, so that most will be able to quickly grasp who is who and what is going on.

One Piece is a bit like a drunken relative that shows up at a family reunion; it’s loud, obnoxious and annoying to such a degree that you wish it would just leave. The problem is that it seems One Piece won’t be leaving any time soon and this band of pirates is the kind that should be out on trial for crimes against what is entertaining in anime, drawn and quartered, and their ship set afire to stop them from continuing with this debacle that some consider quality entertainment.

-mike-