I’m starting to get the impression that the recent surge of horror films in theaters over the past few years has become a rather bad thing. As most know, we love our horror here at Underland Online love our horror, especially the older films and even some of the newer titles, but there is too much of a good thing. Everyone has their ideas for the “next big thing” in the world of horror, and more often than not, they are derivate of at least two other movies.

Take Shadow Puppets for example, a film that at first I thought based on title alone might have something to do with the phenomenon of shadow people. However, Shadow Puppets instead finds eight strangers who wake up in a metal facility with no memory of how they go there or who they even are. There is evidence that maybe they’ve been experimented on, but they aren’t quite sure. As the strangers explore the facility further, they finally get at least part of the evidence they are looking for. Charlie (Marc Winnick) was once a computer programmer while on the opposite side of the spectrum is Steve (Tony Todd) a felon. There’s Amber (Natasha Alam) a former model, Jack (James Marsters), a catatonic patient, Dave (Richard Whiten), a security chief, Kate (Jolene Blalock) a member of the hospital staff, and Stacey (Diahnna Nicole), a simple visitor. However, something has connected them, and someone or something in lurking in the shadows, trying to kill them.

Shadow Puppets should have some very obvious comparisons right away just based on the premise. Cube for example or perhaps even Saw, and that’s just for starters. But, what Shadow Puppets quickly becomes is a film to see just how much patience you truly have. If it’s not the ridiculously thin and borrowed story that is dragging the film quickly down into a mire of its own creation, it’s the horrible acting that Tony Todd manages to ooze out with each and every word from his mouth. The sinister tough guy approach only works so often, and this isn’t one of those times, and unfortunately it seems that these are the only roles that Todd takes on these days.

There is at least one bright spot found in the movie, and that’s Jolene Blalock. She spends no less than half the movie running around in underpants and a tight fitting sports bra. There’s no crime found in that at all, though the rest of Shadow Puppets is subjected to question. The former Star Trek: Enterprise star has been the subject of many fantasies I certain, and those are ones that we won’t delve into here. However, no matter what, a little T&A, even if covered, isn’t something that can save any movie, it doesn’t matter what the film is.

Most of Shadow Puppets is spent trying to uncover the mystery of who these eight individuals are, and as you might have guessed, not all of them will survive. But as to finding out the truth, it quickly becomes unimportant and none of the characters really delivers that much to really warrant being that concerned about any of it. Then there’s the shadow creature, a horrific experiment to be sure, but not a terrifying way so much as in bad computer animation. The monster isn’t frightful and is more laughable than anything else, just like much of the dialog, the premise, and essentially everything else that Shadow Puppets tries to deliver including the “surprise twist” that is another of the movies many bland moments.

If you really feel the desire to learn more about Shadow Puppets beyond the movie itself, then you’ll be pleased to watch the astounding eight minute documentary that features comments from the director Michael Winnick, James Masters, Tony Todd and Jolene Blalock. My favorite comment, from the director himself, is that the movie is about eight people who “awakening in this government facility, mental hospital, prison combination thing.” Oh snap! I’m sold right there. When the writer/director can’t even put into words his own movie, at least not in an intelligent, coherent way, I lose even more interest. Winnicks’ commentary on the movie doesn’t really improve my views on it either, and if you’re really curious, there’s even a trailer. The packaging also promotes a making of feature which is found nowhere on the DVD, and I’m sure it’s all for the better.

Shadow Puppets is a film that is better left in the shadows; the dark corners of your local rental store or retailer where no one can find it. No matter how enticing it might sound, you’ve probably already seen a movie that is similar to it many times over and Shadow Puppets does nothing new, nothing original, and nothing unpredictable. Instead this is a haphazardly thrown together, unintentional farce that leaves one with more groans than fears, more boredom than nightmares.

-mike-