Official Website
Platform: PlayStation 2, GameCube, GameBoy Advance, PC
Genre: Virtual Life
Number of Players: 1

Somewhere along the line, Barbie became second fiddle to a group of upstarts; Bratz. I had a fairly good idea that Barbie has fallen on hard times though, something that became obvious when I was Christmas shopping one year with a friend and noticed while trying to find girls toys that the dream house was gone and now Barbie had a McDonald’s playset. I don’t think that she’s going to be making payments on some lavish mansion while making minimum wage and smelling like French Fries. While Barbie is trying to get the next customers order just right, the Bratz are back in a new video game, Rock Angelz.

Jade, one of the Bratz, has just started a job at a fashion magazine, but unfortunately for her the Tweevils, Kaycee and Kirstee, have managed to get her fired on her very first day. So, the girls have decided that anything that a popular magazine with money to back it can do, they can do better. So, they decide to start their own magazine and set out to get the right look for themselves, meet the right people, and show the fashion world what the Bratz can really do.

I knew from the beginning that this wasn’t a game that was made for someone like me. I’m not a girl, I’m not under the age of 14, and my only knowledge of Bratz is having passed them on the shelf at the local Target. With all this in mind, I decided that I would at least go into the game with an open mind and think of what the real audience is that Rock Angelz is marketed for. That didn’t work out quite as I had planned.

Even if I had a daughter and she was old enough to play video games, I can assure you that I wouldn’t even let her touch this game; no matter how much she cried and begged. Anything that thinks that it needs to use a “z” is the spelling already ranks right up there on the annoyance level. I can handle a “k” in “kombat”, but “z” is just pushing it. Imagine if we reviewed gamez, DVD’z, moviez and other thingz of that nature. See, it’s annoying, isn’t it? But the “z” factor is but a slight issue.

Bratz reminds me of every annoying, arrogant, and uppity girl that I had the misfortune of going to high school with. Here’s a great example; in the beginning of the game, after Jade has lost her job, her friends decide that since she’s a little depressed that the best way to cheer her up is to throw her a party, and the thing that they deduce is going to make her even happier is if they all show up in new clothes. Yeah, I can’t think of how many times I’ve been upset about something, like breaking up with a girlfriend or losing a beloved pet, and my friend coming over in new clothes just chases those blues away.

When you’re not busy spending your parents money on clothes, there are other missions for you to undertake. You are trying to start a fashion magazine after all. You’ll need to hit the mall and go to other stores to shop, and while walking is fine, you can always throw on your roller blades to get their faster. You’ll have the chance to put on make-up . . . . you know, even though I’ve been into the goth scene for a while as well as black metal, I have no clue how to put make on anyone. My girl ended up looking like I should put on a big fuzzy coat, grab my pimp cane and start bringing in some real money. Anyway, you’ll also take pictures and meet up with some of the elite members of the community all to help promote your magazine. Don’t forget that you have your cell phone with you so that you can keep in constant touch with your friends, ensuring that you can run out your minutes and create a huge bill for the month. Okay, so there’s no phone bill . . . . but there should be to add some realism.

One might assume that considering all of the things included, every girl is going to want to play Rock Angelz, as long as she falls into the right target age group, but this just isn’t true. After getting the game I was talking with a friend and we were joking with his 12 year-old daughter about bringing the game over for her to play. She immediately grabbed the phone and told me not to even think about it. She’s much more interested in playing things like Taiko Drum Master, Donkey Conga, or even SOCOM. I would assume she’s one of the rarities in this case (and the though did cross out minds to have her play it and to the review as an interview getting her thoughts about the game.)

The credit that I will give to the game is that it looks like the dolls, at least from what I’ve seen giving them nothing more than a passing glance. They are gaunt and thin. . . .ah, I get it, they ARE trying to make a fashion model, and most of them tend to look emaciated. The dialog in the game though is enough to make you want to rip your ears off, or yell at the TV screen even after you’ve turned the PS2 off. Let’s just say that I still have my ears and leave it at that.

Again, I really did try to tackle this game keeping in mind that it was made for little girls, but I honestly can’t find anything redeeming about the game. I know that there are some however that MUST have the game since there are a number of tie-in’s outside of the dolls themselves, but I still feel that Rock Angelz really points girls in the wrong direction. It may just be a game, but this is one of those cases where impressionable youth really can get the wrong idea, though it’s probably too late in a number of cases as girls that are the living version of the characters in the game stalk the local malls looking for hot fashions and a great deal. Run while you still have the chance!!
 

-mike-